Lie Bumps

Maverick's illustration of his lie bumps.

Tonight, Maverick came up to me while I was working on a writing project and stuck his tongue out at me with more fervor than I’ve ever seen. Shocked, I laughed and said “Why are you sticking your tongue out?” With it still hanging out of his mouth he whined, “my tum hurr”. “It hurts, Maverick?” He nods his head. Upon closer inspection I see three tiny white pimple-esque dots on the tip of his tongue. LIE BUMPS! For those of you that don’t know, a “lie bump” is really just an inflamed taste bud with no confirmed reason for existence. There are multiple theories but those don’t matter. What matters is, you get to tell your child “Those happen every time you tell a lie!” and IMMEDIATELY find out what lies they’ve been telling. Maverick confessed to hitting Ethan, not finishing his dinner, and breaking the toy of a child at his babysitter’s house. He then said “I’m never gonna lie again, mom!” That’s right parents: instill the fear of lie bumps early. Those of you who have never had one do not know the burning, itching, irritation these things cause, for approximately a week if they aren’t left alone. A five year old is not going to leave it alone. I’m convinced the whole reason we lose our first set of teeth is because of our compulsion to “play” with anything that changes in our mouth, or feels different. If we just let them be loose they’d probably never fall out! In fact, I knew someone once who had their entire set of baby teeth still in tact, along with their adult teeth. CRAZY.

ANYWAY, Maverick has sworn to never lie again. He also brought me this drawing you see above. At first I had no idea what I was looking at… until he excitedly told me “THIS IS MY FACE AND THAT IS MY TONGUE AND THAT IS THE LIE BUMPS AND THIS IS A BUMP THAT FALLS OFF TOMORROW CAUSE I WON’T LIE.”

Have I mentioned how AWESOME Maverick is?



  1. February 1, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    Up Next: Art class.
    C’mon! He’s 5. He needs to start painting some Monet or something.

  2. February 1, 2012 at 2:33 pm

    I’m probably going to start teaching him how to paint soon, if that counts.

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